I don't know if I can go on like this and I have no one to turn to. Advice?

I'm depressed and I get up and down depressive phase...sometimes I will be okay or even really happy and thinking I'm over depression but then I'll get depressed again. I've had a splitting headache for a while and the yelling isn't helping. My parents wont stop, they don't. No matter how many times I ask them to leave me alone my dad just keeps antagonizing me and my mom just takes his side and blames everything on me. I don't want to live like this but I don't want to die. I've been here so many times before and I don't want to end up here again. I can't turn to anyone because my friend that I usually turn to isn't really talking to me a lot anymore. Nothing happened, we just kind of grew apart. I can't tell any of my other friends so I'm lost. She was my best friend and now I don't have anyone to tell. That's another thing, I feel lost, I'm not connecting to anyone and I feel alone. I don't know what to do. I just know I don't want to be like this or live like this. I don't know what to do. Please help me?